coachella is dumb, u can kiss my bum! THE ULTIMATE COACHELLA MIXTAPE

coachella..... it's unavoidable. u can ignore it all you want but it's like a freakin holiday. im bitter that im not there but the fact remains that it cost too much and i dont wanna run around in the middle of the desert from stage to stage with a bunch of kids. im an indoors sorta gal. but all you little brats who are getting to see some amazing music are on my s#!t list until monday. So instead of just sitting here stewing in my envious juices, i geeked out and made a coachella mixtape. heres 10 songs per day of some of the artists performing, ones i like. (meaning no chili peppers). i hand picked a lot of these songs to drive home the point that i deserve to be there more than you. it is charmingly elitist of me..... and it was kinda fun, so there.




DUDE...All i can say is.... if i hear everybody talking about how gaddammed amazing it is, for weeks and weeks after this friggin thing, im gonna smack some hos. there's some people who, like, just stopped talking about last year. its like listening to a bunch of hippies reminisce about Woodstock. i know its amazing, yeahyeah ok. but ive heard about this thing for the last 3 months and im looking forward to getting on with life... yes, there is life after coachella. so all you tent pitchin hippies make sure you see all the cool stuff and eat a dick because im not there. so i dedicate this mix to all you lucky little buttheads out there in indio enjoying the heck out of yourselves.



ahem.
without further adeu....


i present...



THE "i hope you wankers fry in the desert" MIX

(all songs are in chronological order of the festival....why? because I CAN.)




DAY 1::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

1. FLOSSTRADAMUS-yea yeah remix (matt and kim)

2. SILVERSUN PICKUPS- waste it on

3. DIGITALISM- skip to the end- radio mix (the futureheads)

4. RUFUS WAINWRIGHT- complainte de la bute

5. PEACHES- downtown (simian mobile disco remix)

6. BENNY BENASSI- i love my sex

7. INTERPOL- direction


8. GOGOL BORDELLO- start wearing purple


9. JESUS AND MARY CHAIN-snakedriver

(How about the Jesus and Mary Chain?
----They always seemed...
---- They always seemed what? They always seemed really great is what they always seemed. They picked up where your precious Echo left off, and you're sitting around complaining about no more Echo albums. I can't believe you don't own this f^@k!ng record. That's insane. Jesus. )


10. BJORK- who is it (vitalic remix)








DAY 2:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

1. HOT CHIP: no fit state

2. MSTRKRFT: dundun-dun remix (para one)

3. DJ MEHDI: lucky boy (outlines remix)

4. !!!: heart of hearts

5. ARCADE FIRE: neighborhood #3 (power out)

6. JUSTICE: d.a.n.c.e. (plus move pirate remix)
(just cause i don't have that mstrkrft one yet... yea yea, shut up)

7. BLONDE REDHEAD: elephant woman

8. LCD SOUNDSYSTEM: yeah (crass version)

9. THE RAPTURE- don gon do it

10. BLACK KEYS- aeroplane blues








DAY 3:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

1. TAPES 'N TAPES: cowbell (black eyes remix)

2. JUNIOR BOYS: in the morning

3. SOULWAX NITE VERSIONS: standing in the way of control remix (the gossip)

4. CSS:
(i DO like other songs by them... alala, off the hook, alcohol, this month, day 10, BUUUTTTT>>>)

:the simian mobile disco remix of lets make love and listen death from above....

(it's just so good... even tho im sick of this song... and it makes me think my phone is ringing...)

5. KLAXONS: its not over yet

6. PLACEBO: days before you came

(ok... making myself pic one placebo song is like some sort of self masochistic mind game. like, i can't freakin handle it... so i picked a song that i know no one puts in their list of favorite placebo songs... but it's in mine!!!

and so i can sleep tonight....the other 9 in my top 10 placebo songs:

-without you im nothing (featuring David Bowie)
-special k
-meds
-protege moi
-i feel you
-the crawl
-broken promise
-every you every me
-the bitter end)

7. PAUL VAN DYK: crush
(mr. trancey pants himself.)


8. RATATAT: we share our mothers health remix (the knife)


9. SPANK ROCK: bump (pink skull remix)

10. RATM- freedom
(your anger IS a gift)



fry like bacon, you lucky punks.